Monday, November 17, 2008


Congratulations neologists! A new word has been added to your beloved tool, the Collins English Dictionary. The new object of fascination for you wordheads: Meh.

Meh is a term adopted because of its use on the Simpsons, courtesy of Bart and Lisa. It means tedium or indifference, or it can be used to depict an accountants' convention, a filibuster or a Greg Maddux interview. It is used best in one word sentences, akin to how someone says "bollocks", "stupid", or "(insert any of your favorite four letter words here)". Below are the best situations to interject "Meh" in your vocabulary:

5) When you see a Sarah Palin interview for the 20th time this week, you just say "Meh" and flip the channel.

4) After flipping the channel, you come across a advertisement about a skin product that claims to "invigorate" your skin's glow. You then see Kerry Washington, Alicia Keys, or some other starlet whose face was always immaculate in the first place. You realize that and you say "meh" and flip the channel again.

3) Finding nothing on the tube, you pick up the phone and call that cousin that you've been putting off. You get him/her on the phone and five minutes into the conversation, you realize why you've been putting him/her off. You say "meh" five times silently, but just loud enough for the person on the other end of the phone to hear you. The person says, "Were you about to say something?" and you reply with "somebody is calling me on the other line, and I have to take this." Five seconds later, you are relieved.

2) The television is useless at this point, so you decide to go read a book. But there's a problem: you have no "readable" books. Everything you have in print are cook books, old school text books, and that Dr. Suess book that your niece left over last weekend. "Meh" you say, before sagging over to the computer.

*1) You start browsing the 'net. You come across a website that some relative sent you through email. The email reads: "Check him out. He's writing some superb stuff." So you obediently click on the link, and it sends you to Clutch Magazine. You read some interesting pieces until you come across one with the byline "Zettler Clay." You force yourself through three sentences until you finally say, "Meh" and shut down the computer. 45 minutes later, you awaken in your chair with a black screen in front of you. You then deliriously drag yourself to bed and go to sleep.

*This is a true story.

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