Is there anything that is more salable than sex? From the porn industry to sitcoms to talk shows to music videos and down to the content of books, music, and even video games, lasciviousness is everywhere we go. Even the strongest spiritual giants get sidetracked with the issue of sex. Pastors, priests, deacons, deaconesses, and even your mentors, they battle lust daily. Sexual preference notwithstanding, it is an issue.
Many parents and overseers use Biblical doctrines and palliatives to keep people from indulging, but it fails in many cases, because sexual desire is so innate. How do you tame a beast that you were born with in abundance? There is no sense in running from this power. Embrace it, and learn how to transmute.
In the long-standing classic Think and Grow Rich, Napolean Hill writes about the virtues of transmuting sexual desire into genius, and more tangibly, wealth. He states that the driving power for most great men is the desire for sex, namely women. He states that the “desire for sex is the most powerful of all human desires,” and that when driven by this desire, “men develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times."
History is full of characters of great accomplishments that had a muse (or muses) to propel them: Cleopatra (Julius Caesar and Marc Anthony), Napolean Bonaparte (Josephine), John Kennedy (Jacqueline and others), Martin Luther King Jr., Sigmund Freud, Duke Ellington. These are among the few who used the boost from that sexual energy to produce greatness. Whether these characters were consciously aware of this energy is irrelevant, the fact is that it was there!
It is there! Problem is, many feel that overindulgences in sex is what is necessary to neutralize this power. Nothing could be further from the truth. Before I go into how to transmute sexual energy into works of art (or high effectiveness), it is important to understand why sex is so salable:
1) It offers a deviation from reality. We all love life, but let’s face it, reality is harsh. And for the black population, it can be downright cruel. Fro dealing with drug addict relatives to leeching friends to looking over your shoulder at every step, we have so much to focus our attention on that it becomes a war to stay relaxed. Relaxation is the enemy of turbulence, which is the killer of effectiveness. The emotion of sex heightens awareness and sensitivity, two keystones of creativity.
2) Sexual emotions drives, lifts one from complacency to achievement, so the prevalent notion goes. There is an inborn yearning to have that beau or beauty on your side. As a man, there is nothing more esteeming or aggrandizing than a beautiful woman on his arm, for everybody to see! When a man is after the woman of his desire, he concocts an array of creative material to hook her with, whether it is a night at a poetry lounge, a fulfilling of a woman’s most embedded fantasy, or an elaborate dinner. But the most important thing to remember is the creativity caused by the stirring of sexual desire. It is often stated by scholars that the Beethoven classic “Fur Elise” was inspired by a woman named Therese (Beethoven was a notorious hopeless romantic). A number of Bob Dylan records were inspired by Joan Baez, including the often referred “It Ain’t Me, Babe.”
3) It makes you feel good. Simple as that. People, at their most primitive levels, are driven by pleasure, and few things are more pleasurable than sex.
Corollary to the last point: This becomes a problem when it is abused (like anything) and when it is the sole force operating. That is exactly what this column is intended to prevent: controlling and channeling something potentially bad into something that could yield one much fortune, or at the very least, peace of mind. At the same time, this is not a piece to persuade one from enjoying sex per se. Its purpose is more about delayed gratification; to use the power of sex to augment other areas of life.
Sex addiction is an underreported problem in society, perhaps because of our proclivity towards it. But as Napolean Hill wrote, a sex-mad man is as dangerous as a dope-mad man. Both signal the loss of one’s control over the zeal for ecstasy. Dutch scientist Gert Holstege reported that scores of men liken climaxing to shooting up heroine. That instantaneous high, followed by that low (men often become sleepy and want again; women don’t experience this instant low, they are aroused and lowered more slowly than men, but the effects are still the same) is what perpetuates the addiction.
Many are being robbed of their potential by debauchery, unwarranted sexuality, and clouded reason. This is not a problem exclusive to men. Women of all locations are susceptible to being influenced foolishly by lust. Too much sex, not enough love and romance. Love is the balancing beam of a relationship, the rock. Romance is the companionship aspect, the mentally stimulating component. Sex is the life force, the physical enjoyment. No relationship can healthily survive on love alone, just as it cannot survive on sex and romance alone. But all three elements fused together, form a synergy that is the key to genius (and ultimate success in relationships).
The discipline lies in keeping a balance of all three together. Being that sex is the most powerful of the three, this requires the most attention. So the next time you are faced with venereal urges, turn it into confronting a problem that you have been facing. Exercise. Write a screenplay. Read a book. Clean that kitchen you’ve been putting off. Construct a business concept. Write down your goals. You will be amazed at the level of productivity you will accomplish with this newfound outlet. Then you will be catapulted above the rest and be a step closer to living the life you want to live.